|8 Reasons Why PUFA Is Not Like "Ultimate"|
|We're older than dirt: The median age at one of our games is probably about 40, maybe older. When we play, the local ambulance company has a unit standing by, with the lights already flashing, as a "courtesy". We practically keep those guys in business.|
|Everybody plays (part 1): It doesn't matter how crappy you are; if you're game, we'll work you in. Really. I mean, no kidding. I'm totally serious. Like, you should see some of the people who come out.
Everybody plays (part 2): We're not sticklers for 7-on-7. If we've got eight people, we play 4-on-4. If we've got 17, it's 8 v. 9. We never use substitutes.
Everybody plays (part 3): It also doesn't matter how old you are. We've had games where every cohort from the 0-9 year olds to the 60-70 year olds had at least one representative. In fact, having the kids cover the grandparents seems to work pretty well. Nobody gets hurt and the old folks have somebody to listen to their interminable, pointless stories about life before invention of the scoober.
"We don't need no stinkin' stack", or "Strategy as a weapon of mass destruction": We employ precisely no conventional strategy. No stacks, no forces, no zones, nothing. Just a bunch of idiots running around in circles. We've had prolonged philosophical discussions about this and have pretty much come to the conclusion that conventional ultimate tactics are like weapons in an arms race. You use them at a cost in fun in hopes of getting the greater fun of winning. If you're the only one doing it, it's nifty, but damned if your actions don't force retaliation on the part of the other team, and the next thing you know, you're both tied down by some fascist system and wondering why you're not having as much fun as you used to. Besides which, we're probably not disciplined, fit or smart enough to employ strategy effectively anyway. So who needs it?
The rule of 18: "If, at any time there shall be 18 or more persons playing in a game, facilities permitting (i) the 18th arrival shall subdivide the field to create two fields; (ii) each team shall forthwith, and without discussion, likewise subdivide itself into two teams of as near equal size and skill as possible; and (iii) two games shall thereupon commence. When and if the total number of players shall again number 17 or fewer, the teams shall recombine so as to form a single game."
Fouls are for sissies: You know how "playground" basketball is distinguished by creativity, flamboyant displays of skill and a relaxed attitude towards the rules? Well, our ultimate game is like that, except for the creativity and skills part. By way of example, we employ a three tiered test in determining whether or not to call interference. One: Were you knocked off your feet by the opposing player? Two: If yes, did getting so knocked deprive you of catching a pass you would otherwise have gotten? Three: If yes, are you willing to endure the scorn of everybody in the game by calling a foul? If all three conditions are met, then a foul may be called, subject to the whim of the mob. As for taking more than 3 steps, or failing to establish a pivot foot and stuff like that? Don't ask.
Tipping encouraged: We are given to understand that in "Ultimate" it is illegal to tip the disc to yourself or a teammate. Evidently, this is because your typical "Ultimate" player is so skilled that (s)he could easily milk a 10 yard throw for another 20 yards simply by tacking two or three tips on the end of the pass. Not a worry in our game. If you want to try some fancy stuff, we say why not?