|Just when you think you're out...
May 17 Set For Spring Fling
On May 17 at high noon, Manhattan's conveniently located Yale Club will witness the 46th (more or less) annual spring assemblage of BLOHARDS. While dining on a meal that's pretty much certain not to feature bok choy, herb-infused vinegar, or goat cheese, the gathered horde will be entertained by a program that is pretty much certain to feature Sox broadcaster Dave O'Brien interviewing the seventh guy out of the bullpen; EVP Ray Duffy doing the Henry Berry Memorial Slideshow; and Ed Randall talking about his prostate. Joe Cosgriff, BLOHARD VP - Toxic Assets will amiably preside over the whole shebang.
The room doesn't hold but 300 people, and it'd be a shame to have to watch on closed circuit from one of the satellite ballrooms, so the smart move might be to get your tickets today.
Descriptions of recent prior lunches may be found hither , thither, and yon.
Overhauled Website Heartens BLOHARDS, Dismays Foes
Our buddy Bill Staley -who evidently doesn't have much of a social life- has expended countless hours in turning the BLOHARD website into something that -brace yourself- isn't an embarrassment to the organization. Featuring a slideshow of treasured photos from the BLOHARD archives, a countdown clock until the season's first pitch, a host of social-networking options and a modern, easy-to-navigate structure, the site has already proven its worth, having been instrumental in the recruitment of no fewer than five dues-paying BLOHARDS, some of whom -brace yourself- are believed to be younger than sixty.
Of course, none of this has gone unnoticed by our many adversaries. The site has already been subject to a harrowing series of highly-sophisticated "denial of service" attacks, all of which have been successfully weathered. Our crack BLOHARD cybersecurity team has made considerable progress in locating the source of these attacks, having traced them to a computer server operating in the extreme southwestern portion of the Bronx. The server's owner is, as yet, unidentified.
Flood In, That Is
It is with no small amount of concern that your Executive Committee notes the somewhat-less-than-universal participation in the club's 2010 dues drive. Put bluntly, the BLOHARDS' private jet is not going to fuel itself, and your Executive Committee does not intend to fly commercial just because certain people don't "feel like" paying their dues.
Membership is not without its benefits. Annual dues of $20 entitles one to a membership card, a BLOHARDS bumper sticker, and a handy wallet-sized laminated Red Sox schedule*. Lifetime dues purchasers (at $150) get all of the above plus the status bump that comes with being a "Lifetimer." Secret handshakes, knowing glances, enhanced self-esteem, and the occasional free bottle of Gansett are just a few of the perquisites to be had with this level of membership.
A review of our letter to the membership from two years ago may prove useful in inspiring the requisite enthusiasm. Memberships may be purchased via the internet or the US Postal Service.
*All items to be delivered at a time, and in a manner, convenient to your Executive Committee.