Benevolent and Loyal Order of Honorable Ancient Red Sox Die Hard Sufferers of New York  since 1965
 

March 1, 2006 - 11:46 am

February/March 2006

April 2006 »

Powerless, BLOHARDs Carry On
Damon in Fall From Favor?
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Experts See Subtle Signs of Discontent


(New York, February 19) Speculation is growing that the notoriously fickle fans of the Boston Red Sox may be growing dissatisfied with their one-time hero, Centerfielder Johnny Damon.
2005-vintage shirt. Click to expand.
While cautioning that it is too soon to draw any definitive conclusions, Hubologsits are amassing an increasing trove of evidence that Damon's star is waning. One such expert, Randall Gosthwaite, a professor of Popular Culture at Boston University has conducted research on the dressing habits of a particularly fervent group of fans, the New York-based BLOHARDs. Likening his profession to Kremlinology, Gosthwaite emphasized that seemingly insignificant changes could portend great shifts. In this regard, he cites modifications in BLOHARD-issued Damon t-shirts. While the 2005-vintage shirt (above, right) features Damon's visage in its usual form, and
The new-and-improved version. Click to expand
exhorts readers to "STRIVE TO EMULATE COMRADE JOHNNY!", a more recently issued shirt (left) overlays a struck-through circle, the universal symbol of opprobrium, on Damon's visage and reads "CONDEMN THE CAPITALIST-ROADER DAMON!". Gosthwaite commented "It's 'little things' like this that we look for in trying to 'read the tea leaves'...
(See "Damon", p. 4)

Incidentally, anybody wishing to purchase an emergency repair kit for their "Comrade Johnny" shirt should remit $5 to: Peter Collery c/o SC Fundamental, 747 Third Ave. NYC 10017)
Bus Expected to Depart Westport April 11
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Ardent On-board Imbibing Thought Key to Sox Win


(Westport CT, February 19) For the fortieth consecutive year, a BLOHARD led, bus-borne excursion to Fenway Park for the Red Sox home opener is planned for this coming April 9th. For the twelth succesive year -pending Henry Berry's return from his untimely death- leadership will be provided by Ray Duffy. As is traditional, riders will be afforded the opportunity to sip on the odd beer and perhaps munch on a Cheeto. That returning voyagers will be chilled to the bone is only slightly less certain than that they will witness a stirring Sox victory. You can read more about the bus here. You've probably got a better chance of hitting the lotto, but if you're interested in the trip, what's the harm in emailing Ray?



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Dues Due
Cough up the dough and sustain the mirth. $20 for one year, or, the lifetime membership is back; a bargain at $150. Details here. With respect to the lifetime option, Brother Cosgriff, is hard at work on a detailed breakeven analysis, incorporating actuarial projections, prevailing interest rates, relevant tax provisions, and so on. Look for it in our next edition.
"Leadership" Group Seen Comically Overmatched
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Collection of Dues, Organization of Lunch Pose Early Challenges


(New York, February 18) Already staggered by the loss of James Powers, their "Beloved Helmsman", a beleaguered group of BLOHARD brass is now faced with the superhuman task of maintaining the administrative skills, grace and humor he brought to the organization. They are widely expected to fail.

The group, which includes Powers' daughters Sarah and Julia, busmeister Ray Duffy, communications maven Jim Shea, longtime Powers consigliere Joe Cosgriff, and Peter Collery who has no apparent role in the organization, is faced with a bevy of pressing challenges. Among these are the successful solicitation of 2006 dues, the mailing of membership cards, and the organization of a lunch which is presently expected to occur May 9th.

The stress of these obligations is evidently taking a toll. Cosgriff, who is reportedly responsible for producing a Powers-worthy program for the May 9 lunch, has been behaving in an increasingly erratic fashion. Recently, he was seen pacing in his office at BLOHARD world headquarters with a sawed-off shotgun while muttering about how he was going to "invite" noted comedian and Red Sox fan Denis Leary to "come and have a little lunch with us"...
(See "Disaster Looms", p.7)
Lunch Tentatively Set For 5/9

The Red Sox come to Gotham for their first visit of the year Tuesday May 9th through Thursday May 11th. We're currently trying to arrange to have them join us for lunch on the 9th. Presuming we can unfreeze the bank account and pay for the last lunch, the most likely venue will be the Yale Club. Mark your calendars. Details to follow.
 

April 2006 »

BLOHARDs since 1965